Bubba takes the Subway

So I was thinking about moving around someone on the 5 train, and which way would she think i was being most rude, going in front of her, or behind her? I've been elbowed in the ribs before, and I know how dangerous the NY underground can be. In fact, while writing this, a woman we'll call Precious, got out of her seat, and at which point, with a wet floor from the tracked snow, and my gymbag (and typing on my phone), I quickly sat down. Precious, although on her way off the train, loomed over me, and in a booming voice she sayeth "I was gonna give that to heh"! Oh, said I, I didn't realize the seat belonged to you, you must have been sitting there quite a while. I turned to the other woman, we'll call her Big Momma, we both smiled big and I said, "Miss, would you like to sit"? She said yes and sat down and thanked me....then the person behind me stood up, offering me that prime real-estate on the end, and harmony was restored, until I missed my stop...
- Bubba